01-growing from experience

I know this might sound very familiar and it seems like everybody does it automatically. But there is a diffrence between accepting the circumstances and being aware of the change. I think its very easy after a breakup or an failed exam to say, that you have learned. Because know you are a little bit more experienced and next time you won't go after a person such as your ex-partner or you will study harder to pass your exam. These are examples for excuses your brain will bring up, to let you stay the same. It takes a lot of energy to actually change.

Why do I even have to change, if everything is so comforting? Your brain and body don't want the change, because they want to survive, not live. Your brain was not created to bring happiness to your life, it was made to keep you and the human-existence alive. If you actually want to grow from your past experiences, you have to put some energy into it. The process of growing needs energy, time and regular care, just like a flower does.

Accepting the circumstances means, you experience something impactful but now you´re through it. Which means you're not through it, but you learned that this is the new way of life. You're not aware of the process because you haven't invented one. And the chance you go through this experience over and over again, questioning and challenging yourself with accepting or pointing out flaws of others, is high.

Being aware of the change means you are aware of the situation, your (and the other persons) feelings. You figured out a way to heal and to maybe find a solution with another human-being. You have set a goal and step by step you get nearer. You see the process of changing, which also motivates you. If you have got to the root of a problem, it helps you to identify such problems far before they will come up next time and will help you to deal with that.

Importance of Dealing instead of Ignoring.

You can start with simply processing your experiences over and over again. Your emotions that might come up, have to flow out of you. You can write them down or say them out loud or paint them. Or you can start little by little to tell your friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed. But a problematic thing is to bottle them up. The more unconscious your pain is, the more difficult it will be to actually deal.

I want to say, I'm not a professional. This is only my opinion on this topic. Its not supposed to educate, its supposed to inspire.